Today’s blog post is about one of our favorite addictions – alcohol.
If you are, or know an addict, then you know that people will do some pretty crazy things to get another drink. Indeed, we’ve been getting plastered, hammered, tanked, sloshed, bombed, juiced-up, embalmed, buzzed, toasted (fill in your preferred term here) for as long as there’s been civilization.
That being said, we’d like to propose a theory here today – that the real reason humans moved from a hunter-gatherer lifestyle to farming was so that we could get drunk.
Farming allowed us to grow things like barley and grapes, which, when mixed with a little magic and some fermentation, turned into delicious, mind-numbing booze.
And booze provided more positive psychotropic effects, like increased cheerfulness and confidence, which would have attracted early humans to try and consume more.
Throughout history, man has always been on the lookout for new and exciting ways to get drunk.
Sure, there were the early days of just drinking water, but let’s be real. Drinking water is, well, it’s just so darn sobering. (We won’t even get into the “turning water into wine” tale here) So, our ancestors decided to take things to the next level by inventing farming.
And let’s not forget about the great advances in technology that farming brought about. Think about it: without farming, we would never have invented the plow
(not to mention the cocktail shaker)
And the plow allowed us to plant more crops and, ipso facto, make more alcohol.
We also never would have invented the distillation process, which allowed us to make stronger and more unique alcoholic beverages. Can you even imagine a world without the complex flavors of a well-aged Scotch or the effervescence of a cold beer on a hot summer day? Without farming, we would be stuck with a monotonous alcoholic diet of fermented berries and honey.
Now, you might make the argument that future discovery cannot be a cause of past action. However, there is evidence of fermentation during the hunter-gatherer period as well.
At the neolithic site of Göbekli Tepe in southern Turkey, archaeologists have uncovered a series of giant stone troughs erected more than 10,000 years ago.
At the bottom of these huge vessels, they found traces of a chemical called calcium oxalate, typically produced during the soaking, mashing and fermenting of grain. In other words, it’s a by-product of brewing.
From this evidence, researchers concluded that Göbekli Tepe was a vast festival site where Stone Age men and women came to feast and to drink beer by the trough-load. It seems that humans have known how to party for a very, very long time.
The makers of this ancient beverage would have relied on a brewing method that involved their teeth and saliva. To allow for fermentation, they would have first chewed on wild rice, turning the starch into sugar. Then they would have added a mixture of honey, wild grapes and fruit found in their location.
So, we could conclude that the main motivation for settling down and domesticating crops was probably to be closer to the grains that they could use to ferment - thus being closer to the booze - thus negating the argument of “future discovery versus past action”.
Our love of alcohol is deep-rooted and that drink – although harmful in excess – still has a role to play in generating happiness and wellbeing. Studies clearly show that there are social and health benefits to be derived directly from drinking moderate amounts of alcohol, especially in relaxed social environments, which is one reason why the practice has been around so long.
Alcohol activates the endorphin system and endorphins generate a positive feeling in a person, similar to that of morphine.
We feel good, and this helps to enhance social bonds among those who indulge together. In other words, alcohol was vital to strengthening social bonding and breaking down inhibitions. So, it could easily be argued that, without booze, society as we know it might never have developed.
Our ancestors likely discovered how to create alcohol by accident. It’s been theorized that some grain that had fermented by falling into a pool of water was picked up and eaten. Once consumed, those drops of alcohol juices would have hit the taster’s brain, causing them to wonder where they could get more.
Happy Accident = Happy Ending.
Today we celebrate the fact that there’s more to life than just survival and, human nature and addiction being what it is, our ancestors must certainly have had an appreciation for that as well. Fueled in no small part by the discovery of alcohol.
Think about the experience of our ancestors. If you’d never tasted alcohol before, a few sips must have seemed to produce an almost mystical experience.
It would lower your heart rate and calm your nerves, taste sweet, provide a feeling of euphoria and you would certainly have wanted that feeling to last. Perhaps that’s why they forested the earth in agriculture.
Just imagine if the people of Kentucky could grow Percocet on trees. It would physically harm them, yes. Make them weaker. Their children would suffer. Their bank accounts would collapse. But as long as they stuck to it, they’d have Percocet. And anyone who knows an addict knows that Kentucky would be forested like never before.
Our hunter-gatherer ancestor’s lives were likely pretty painful and devoid of entertainment. Alcohol reduces inhibitions, lowers sensations of pain and increases euphoria. And since so many of their daily life choices would have meant risking life and limb, their inhibitions would have been in serious need of lowering.
Even so, making the switch to farming in the early days just wouldn’t have made sense since the costs far outweighed the benefits. Farming would have meant more energy spent per calorie gained. You can steal a farmer’s entire livelihood in one day while the only way to outdo another hunter-gatherer would have been to hunt and gather more yourself.
And farming physically weakened us. All our fruits and grains and vegetables today contain exponentially more sugar, water, and nutrients than 10,000 years ago. Early farmers were shorter, thicker, and less muscular than their hunter-gatherer cousins. They worked longer hours, lived shorter lives, and had fewer children. Stability made them more vulnerable to attack and changes in climate. In short, it sucked!
So, it should come as no surprise that in nearly all the locations where early agriculture has been studied, there have been found unique forms of farm-based intoxicants. Within a short time of settling into farming, a great deal of time and energy was apparently being put into producing alcohol.
Besides, crops last longer when they’re fermented. Grapes spoil quickly while wine can last for years. Alcohol was also safer because, before refrigeration and clean water, access to a safe, reliable, filling drink would have provided the kind of stability that might just have made farming worthwhile.
Now you might ask, why not make bread instead of beer? At the time, the latter was just easier to create. Since humans were only just beginning to cultivate plants, the kind of wheat grown then would have made a bread that would have been a far cry from what we have available today. From a nutritional standpoint, baking bread is a far worse use of resources than brewing beer. Beer (also known as “liquid bread”) was a repeatable, non-perishable food source.
Plus, alcohol just tasted so good!
While it’s obvious that the invention of farming was a crucial step in the development of human civilization, we postulate here that one of the main reasons was because it gave us the ability to make alcohol and get drunk. So, the next time you raise a glass, remember to thank our ancestors for their wise decision to give up hunting and gathering for the sake of our inebriated happiness.
We thought that it was most appropriate to conclude our discussion today with a quote from one of our favorite philosophers:
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day”.
Dean Martin
Even if a dirty busboy towel is thrown at you?
Hmmmmm. You avoided the main topic, which is the after effect of too much participation. The hangover! The real question is….. “was it worth it?” How many deals have you made with God? “If you will stop me from throwing up, I will never drink again!” Or better yet “God, what did I do last night?” Lastly, water was turned to wine (not a tale).