Fashionista's we most certainly are not. But we do know enough to know what we don't like, or what would be best to avoid when dressing up for a night out. Since not everyone might have as keen an eye for the pitfalls of fashion, we thought we'd take a quick look at some of the strangest/craziest/just down right bizarre fashion trends of the past. Many, if not all of which we're very happy are no longer in fashion. So zip up cause away we go......
* Macaroni: More than just a favorite hangover dish, it's also a delightfully strange fashion trend from the mid-1700's.
"Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in his cap, and called it macaroni....", is the refrain from a well-known American song and nursery ryhme. That lyric is in reference to young French men who took Italian fashion to the extreme. The style is, in fact, named after the Italian pasta dish, signifying sophistication and worldliness. The most notable element of macaroni fashion was a huge wig with the tiny hat (or feather) on top, but it also included flashy waistcoats, bright stockings, and fancy buckled shoes.
* Black Teeth: In early Tudor England, sugar wasn't readily available. By the time that Elizabeth I came around in the mid-1500's, it was everywhere (though at a very high cost), and the Virgin Queen had a thing for sweets.
Her teeth were black and decaying, the result of a sweet tooth (and a whole lot of neglect). They also sparked a short-lived fashion trend in England: Women purposefully blackened their teeth to prove that they had enough money to buy sugar. Fortunately this trend died out long ago, otherwise, today there might be an alarming number people walking around with orange hair....
* Arsenic Dresses:
Bottle-green dresses were all the rage in the Victorian era, and they had price tags to match. To achieve this lovely shade of green, the fabric was dyed using large amounts of arsenic. Some women suffered nausea, impaired vision, and skin reactions to the dye. But the dresses were only worn on special occasions, limiting exposure to the arsenic in the fabric. The garment makers were the real sufferers - many died to bring this trend to the fashionable set.
* Codpieces: Men trying to prove the power of their packages has been a thing since, well....forever.
Codpieces were the penis enhancements of the 15th and 16th centuries. They were made out of a variety of materials including padded cloth, embroidered fabric, metal (good grief!) and sometimes even carved from (no pun intended) wood — and served to make men feel good about their members.
* Crakowes: Also known as poulaines or pikes, this super long shoe reigned supreme with men across Europe in the late 14th and early 15th centuries.
The shoes were named after Krákow, Poland because they were introduced to England by Polish nobles. Once the shoes were seen at court, they became all the rage - even though the shoes were up to twenty-four inches long. But they were a quick indicator of social status: the longer the shoe, the higher the wearer's station. Chains were sometimes strung from the toe of the crakow to the knee to allow the wearer to walk. Sometimes the toes were stuffed with material for the same reason.
* Breast Flatteners: During the Roaring '20s, the hourglass shape gave way to the boyish flapper figure and underwear got an overhaul.
The goal of every undergarment was to flatten the breasts and torso, so that flapper dresses could hang straight down without any curvaceous interruptions. Corset-makers R. & W.H. Symington invented a garment, the Symington Side Lacer, that would flatten the breasts. The wearer would slip the garment over her head and pull the straps and side laces tight to smooth out curves. Other manufacturers designed similar devices. The Miracle Reducing Rubber Brassiere was "scientifically designed without bones or lacings," while the Bramley Corsele combined the brassiere and corset into one piece that easily layered under dresses.
So, from this brief look at some of the craziest fashion trends of history, we have learned a couple of takeaways. One, that people will go to ridiculous lengths to prove their station in society. And two, that exaggeration is key. The true devotes of trends seemed mostly to believe that bigger was better. Whether they're deadly or just plain nuts, you can be thankful these fashion trends are in the past and are not deserving of a comeback.
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