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Shakespeare’s Beaver Tales

Our topic for this week is beavers.

Now it’s a fair enough question for you to be asking at this point - “why”?


The answer is because beavers are fascinating creatures that have captured the imagination and curiosity of humans from time immemorial. These industrious animals (rodents to be exact) are known for their ability to construct elaborate dams and lodges, creating entire ecosystems in the process. With their distinctive flat tails, webbed hind feet, and sharp incisors, beavers have adapted to life in and around bodies of fresh water, making them excellent swimmers and engineers.


Indeed, beavers are such unique creatures that Shakespeare devoted a whole subgenre of his writings to them. He referred to this collection as “Shakespeare’s Beaver Tales”. Their existence remains largely unknown as they were once regarded as highly controversial, resulting in only a limited number of individuals being aware of them. They challenged the societal norms of the day and ridiculed the establishment by putting beavers in the place of kings, queens, and all members of the elite.

Due to their satirical nature, and as a tip of the hat to the plays’ protagonists, they were performed only in underground theaters to special invitation only audiences.


Today, schools don’t teach or even acknowledge the existence of these long-lost plays that celebrated what might be called a “Rodent Renaissance”. The elitist viewpoint being, if it was widely known that Shakespeare devoted a considerable amount of his energy to writing plays about beavers it would somehow detract from his more well-known body of work.

We have been fortunate enough to locate some of these little-known and long-hidden works and will be providing a selection of quotes from them, along with the plays name, interspersed with our look at that uniquely singular rodent, the beaver. So, here’s to you Will!


Now, gentle reader, thou might be pondering the sheer audacity of suggesting that the great Shakespeare devoted quill to parchment for tales of beavers. Fear not, for thou art not alone in thy disbelief. As we delve into this clandestine world of rodent revelry, let us collectively suspend our disbelief and revel in the beaver-infused brilliance that hath long been hidden beneath the dust of time.


Upon yon verdant stage, where the dappled sunlight doth waltz with the shadows of ancient trees, a troupe of creatures cometh forth, their industrious exploits a tale to rival the most storied dramas of Shakespearean lore. Hark, for we delve into the woodlands, where the beaver, a silent protagonist of the aqueous realm, assumes the mantle of an unwitting Shakespearean hero. With paws that wield the tools of creation, and a cunning that rivals the most astute characters of the Bard’s quill, the beaver tales unfold – narratives wrought with the poetry of nature and the toil of an architect unburdened by the limits of human endeavor.


Indeed, a tale that Ayn Rand herself spoke enviously of in one of her lesser-known works entitled “The Beaver Shrugged”.


Thus, fair reader, as the body of the blog post draws on apace, let the curtain rise on this woodland theater. Verily, we shall embark upon an exploration of the beaver’s saga, with pomp, with triumph and with reveling, where the currents of fate flow as surely as the streams they divert, where the industrious dam-builders taketh center stage, and the echoes of Shakespearean verse resonate in the ceaseless rustle of the leaves.


Beavers used to be really big: Beavers are amphibious rodents and are native to North America, Europe, and Asia. They are thickset and heavy, about 1.2 m (4 ft) long, including a 30 cm (1 ft) paddle-shaped, scaly, flat tail; they weigh as much as 32 kg (70 lb). Their legs are short and their hind feet large and webbed. They use their forepaws like hands. During the last Ice Age beavers were giant. They grew up to 2.5 m (8 ft) long and weighed up to 160 kg (350 lb).


To be a beaver, or not to be a beaver: that is the question:

Whether ‘tis nobler in the tail,

to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous hunters,

or to take arms against a pond of troubles.”

Beaverlet, Act III, Scene I


Beaver Dams can be enormous: Beavers build dams and lodges using tree branches, vegetation, rocks, and mud. Dams restrict water flow, and lodges serve as shelters. The dams are engineered according to the speed of the water; in slow water the dam is built straight, but in fast water the dam is built with a curve in it. This provides stability so that the dam won’t be washed away. The world’s largest known beaver dam stretches for 850 meters (2,800 ft) in the wilderness of northern Alberta, Canada. It was discovered after being spotted on a satellite image in 2007 (Great Wall of China, eat your heart out). Scientists believe multiple generations of beavers have been working on the dam since the 1970’s. In 2014, explorer Rob Mark became the first person to ever reach the dam.


All the world’s a dam,

and all the beavers merely players;

Their lodges have their exits and entrances,

and one beaver in his time builds many parts.”

As You Build It, Act II, Scene VII


Tales of Beaver Tails: The beaver’s most notable feature is its large, flat tail. The tail can serve as a rudder when swimming and it also assists them when sitting or standing upright. When they sense danger, beavers strike their tail on the surface of the water which will serve as a warning to their fellow animals. Of course, sometimes they likely just do it for fun.

Beavers don’t hibernate in winter so, in addition to hanging out with the food they’ve stored in their lodge, their tail serves as a fat storage area which helps them to survive.


To thine own tail be true.”

Beaverlet, Act I, Scene III


Better in Water than on Land: Beavers look pretty funny while on land, but when they’re in the water it’s a whole different story. They can swim up to five miles per hour in water. In addition, their fur is naturally oily and waterproof, which helps them keep dry and warm even when submerged for long periods. And beavers can hold their breath for up to 15 minutes underwater. They have transparent eyelids that serve as goggles and eye and nose valves that shut to keep water out when they swim.


Once more unto the water and into the dam, dear friends, once more;

Or close the wall up with our beaver kin.

In peace there’s nothing so becomes a beaver,

as modest stillness and humility.”

Beaver V, Act III, Scene I


Beavers are helpless romantics: Well, at least they’re monogamous. Dams are usually started by a young male looking for love or by a mated-for-life new couple. A whole beaver family – mom, dad, young kids, and yearlings – will live together in a single dam. After their first year, the young help their parents with repairs to the dams and lodges, and older siblings may also help raise newly born offspring.


Sweet, so would I; Yet I should kill thee with much munching.

Good lunch, good dinner!

Chewing is such sweet sorrow,

that I shall say good night till it be breakfast time in the morrow.”

Beavero and Beaverette, Act II, Scene II


Iron Teeth: No, not a reference to a James Bond baddie.

We’re talking about beaver teeth. They’re orange in color from an iron-rich protective coating of enamel that helps prevent tooth decay and strengthens them. This iron-rich enamel makes them incredibly strong, sharp, and orange.

Their front teeth stick out of their lips, but don’t let the goofy look fool you. They can chew up an eight-foot tree within five minutes. Their teeth are so strong that they can cut through trees, shrubs, and branches that they then drag to add as a foundation to their lodges and dams.


If tree bark be the food of love, chew on;

give me excess of it, that overfeeding.”

Twelfth Dam, Act I, Scene I


Beaver Paratroopers: In 1948, new human inhabitants began moving into the western portion of Idaho, which had been a wooded wilderness for centuries. And they began to clash with some of the original inhabitants – especially the local beaver population. The Idaho Department of Fish and Game wanted to put these threatened beavers in a nearby protected area, but they didn't know how to get them there. Elmo Heter, an employee of the Idaho Fish and Game Department, devised an ingenious solution: by using surplus parachutes from World War II, the department could drop boxes of beavers into the backcountry by plane. The specially-designed wooden boxes would open on impact. After some careful calibrations, and a beaver test-pilot named Geronimo, 76 beavers made the skydive into the reserve. And all but one survived the fall.

Friends, beavers, countrymen, lend me your tails;

I come to bury food for the winter, not to consume it with praise.”

Julius Beaver, Act III, Scene II


Beavers don’t bite off their own testicles: While this one may sound pretty obvious, up until the 14th or 15th centuries, people thought that beavers actually did this. The myth originated with the ancient Egyptians, who had hieroglyph’s depicting a beaver chewing off his testicles. In the West, Aesop wrote about the myth in his famous fables: “When pursued, the beaver runs, but when he sees he cannot escape, he will bite off his own testicles and throw them to the hunter, and thus escape death.”

The myth lived on in The Medieval Bestiary well into the Middle Ages. In 1188 Gerald of Wales, gave a more detailed account saying that the beaver will “ransom his body by the sacrifice of a part,” and adds that once castrated, “he has the sagacity to run to an elevated spot, and there lifting up his leg, shows the hunter that the object of his pursuit is gone.”

It turns out what our ancients had confused for testicles were in fact small external bumps that connect to internal castor sacs, which produce an oily castoreum. By rubbing its bum all over logs and rocks and such, the beaver marks its territory with the oil’s musky, vanilla-esque scent. And this vanilla scent was much prized by hunters. Of course, the very word “castoreum” seems to have an obvious cousin: castration. The Latin word for beaver is “castor” but it doesn’t share the same root as castration. Castor comes from the Sanskrit for musk. This etymological confusion no doubt played a part in helping to perpetuate this strange and somewhat uncomfortable myth.


A beaver! A Beaver! My kingdom for a beaver!”

Beaver III, Act V, Scene IV


Putting the cart before the beaver: Gerald of Wales brought us even more detailed information about the beaver’s strange lifestyle in his 1188 book Journey Through Wales. He claimed that when constructing their dams, beavers “make use of the animals of their own species instead of carts.” A few individuals obey “the dictates of nature” and “receive on their bellies the logs of wood cut off by their associates.” Holding tight with their feet, and having “transverse pieces placed in their mouths,” the unfortunate workers are "drawn along backwards, with their cargo, by other beavers, who fasten themselves with their teeth to the raft.” They were, in essence, living skis. (We think-eth that Gerald may have stumbled-eth across some magical mushrooms during his journey across-eth Wales.)

We are such stuff as dams are made on,

and our little lodges are rounded for our sleep.”

The Beaverfest, Act IV, Scene I


Beavers are geniuses: We’re guessing that by now you already know this. But, to drive the point home, beavers are often called ecological engineers. They are one of the few animals that can manipulate their surroundings to create a suitable habitat but that isn’t the only reason why they are considered ecological engineers —the dams they build create wetlands which are essential habitats for thousands of species. These wetlands sponge up floodwaters, alleviate drought, lessen erosion, and act as the earth’s kidneys that purify water. Wetlands also prevent wildfires from spreading, as well as serving as a reservoir for animals who need water to survive.Beavers are considered keystone species, in other words, they are critical for the health of the environment.


Out, out swift timber!

This beaver, a lumbering silhouette, this humble builder;

that dams and labors in its span, and then is heard no more:

it has been a tale, told by a rodent, full of industry and rustling,

signifying nothing more than the shaping of a dam.

Macbeaver, Act V, Scene V


Thus, we’ve come to the end of this brief look into the life and times of the beaver. Not to mention exposing a side of Shakespeare that he kept mostly hidden, only sharing with his closest friends.


But before thou judgest the legitimacy of Shakespeare’s Beaver Tales, ponder this: didst thou ever imagine the Bard taking a break from his tragic soliloquies and romantic sonnets to compose odes to beavers? Aye, ‘tis a whimsical thought indeed. But, gentle reader, we hope you were able to suspend thy skepticism and enjoyed this journey into the beaver-infested corners of Elizabethan drama.


We trust that was the case and thought it most appropriate to let the Bard have the final word in today’s post. So, we’ll end with the final stanza from one of his most popular underground plays – A Midsummer Beaver’s Dream, Act V, Scene I


Robin the Beaver

If we beavers have caused dismay,

Consider this, and all will be okay,

You merely dozed in your cozy den,

While these whimsical visions did then begin.


This feeble tale, a mere reverie,

No more substantial than a dam you see,

Dear readers, do not take offense,

If you forgive, we’ll make recompense.


And, as I am an honest beaver true,

If fortune unearned has come to you,

To escape the serpent’s hiss so sly,

Amends we’ll make, we won’t deny.


Lest you call this beaver a fibber’s kin,

Bid you goodnight, let amends begin.

Extend your paws, if we’re in accord,

And Robin the beaver will mend what’s stored.


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3 Kommentare


joe.carrillo
06. Dez. 2023

Who doesn’t love a story about beavers! They are the world’s natural architects. Great fun facts.


Makes me laugh every time I see one!

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Michelle Tennant
Michelle Tennant
01. Dez. 2023

I love me some beaver. He said.

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joe.carrillo
06. Dez. 2023
Antwort an

Hahaha

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